1125 – Diplomatic Opinions with Andy Kindler

 

Andy Kindler

Andy Kindler

Never Not Funny Episode 1125 – Jimmy Pardo welcomes Andy Kindler (220, 703, 913)

In-Studio Notes by Garon Cockrell

@andykindler

Freeways

00 – Hello everyone! Welcome to the show! Get your finances in order! Penultimate episode of season 11. January 6 is the premeire date! Eliot is off silence patrol and no longer under a gag order. True hootie story, jimmy skipped concert to prepare for a commercial where he had nothing to do. Jimmy calls Hootie’s first album terrific (cracked rear view) Good or bad news: Tiers are going away. Now it is audio and video $25 across the board. Audio and video included. It allows for a little more scratch for Eliot. There is also a “Pay What You Want” button to allow for people who want to pay a little more.

05 – Jimmy’s pocket gets angry at anything less than a $50. A C-note is a $100 bill. No More Tears is not Ozzy’s best according to Jimmy. Jimmy had the honor of meeting two heroes recently. He did another gym skit with Todd Glass. No phones on the elliptical machine! Jimmy’s brother dropped a Slash joke at the Slash concert. Jimmy calls it a nice piece of business.

10 – Top Five Best Guitar solo from Slash last night. Les Paul – Lester William Polsfuss. Andy appeared in a special live episode of Running Your Trap with Jimmy Dore and Pat Francis. 703 was his first in studio appearance. Andy does a great Leno voice. Guitar inventor chat! Andy not a fan of Bill Maher’s comedy. Maher ryhmes with Star. Andy does a great Dennis Miller apparently also. Miller used to be everyone’s favorite comedian.

15 – Jimmy thinks Miller is afraid and that 9/11 scared the hell out of him. Illuminative: Of, causing, or capable of causing illumination. Race chat!

20 – Foster Brooks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foster_Brooks Andy did not like Dane Cook’s pilot. My hat came from KHMarketplace.com (King’s Island online store).

25 – Everyone was mad at Andy for his Louis CK material. Jimmy enjoyed it. He mentions his belief that you can take down someone higher than you. Jimmy and Greg Fitzsimmons defended Andy’s CK material. Andy’s interview: http://www.laughspin.com/2012/07/30/audio-interview-andy-kindler-goes-after-louis-c-k-state-of-comedy-and-more-exclusive/

30 – More Louis CK Chat. Andy thinks he goes too blue. Jewggling! Andy breaks into song! Jimmy calls out Andy for using only one headphone. To hear me better?

35 – Free stuff from radio stations! Jimmy’d? Pardo’d? Medical update: Jimmy had a wisdom tooth removed and is feeling the pain. Methotrexate is a chemotherapy drug.

40 – NFL Viagra: every once and a while you can take someone down with your penis – Andy. Last Comic Standing didn’t come back probably because of America’s Got Talent. Nick Cannon apparently does do Stand-up. http://www.comedycentral.com/comedians/nick-cannon.

45 – Jimmy met two heroes: Mel Brooks! (He was very nice and they discussed Don Pardo at length). Great Mel Brooks story! A Mel Brooks Moment! Andy tells a story about Bill Fox meeting Jerry Lewis.

50 – Andy not a fan of Anderson Cooper now! Andy does a great Gilbert Gottfried! Jimmy also met Dick Van Dyke last week! Andy offers $100 for Jimmy to break his neck. $50 for a collar bone. $75 for a rib. Dick Van Dyke holding court in the Conan green room, telling stories.

55 – Andy rents in west la. Thinks he made a good decision with the renting. Wants to buy a house on the beach for $150k. Jimmy asks for card six of Andy’s joke cards.
We’ll be back!!

00 – and we’re back! Andy bored by batman talk. “Robert Downey Jouney” – Andy. “Bobby D. J.” – Jimmy. Wonderboys a great movie. Andy enjoys movies. Can’t note Jimmy’s Doug Benson joke, laughing too hard. Mic stand problems! Andy would take sponsorship from Napalm, adamandeve.com. Jimmy thinks Andy would be funny on Dave’s Old Porn. Jimmy calls one of his jokes flawless.

05 – Andy did an episode of Marc Maron’s upcoming show and thinks it will be very funny. Maron “gets” Andy. Andy proudly walks down the street with his Jimmy O’s shopping bag so he will wear an adam and eve windbreaker on a late night show. Opposite of buff and chisled: flabby and distended.

10 – Andy wants his private life private. Jimmy asks Andy if he is a private dancer. Andy goes back to Dennis Miller voice. Atheist chat! Andy doesn’t like mean atheists. Andy wouldn’t go on celebrity apprentice jimmy says he’s lieing.

15 – Who died and made Jim Belushi a big star? – Andy. He could never do Donald’s show because he’s a rascist. He draws the line at Donald Trump but he watches the show because he likes watching bad things.

20 – Jimmy would love to do Dave’s Old Porn if Dave Attell would ask. “Nothing in comedy is fool proof.” – Andy. Andy does Angry Guy. More Jay Leno chat. More hilarious leno impressions. Andy says Zany’s found a way to ruin chicago comedy audiences.

25 – Andy did a show with John Mulaney. Crowd loved John did not like Andy. Jimmy says no one comes to downtown zany’s to see comedy they come beause it’s something to do. Andy has only left the stage once in england when they were throwing things at him. Corporate gigs aren’t natural for comedians. It’s more like a court jester.

30 – Jews not liking talking about hitler jimmy says get over it. Andy tells a story about doing a corporate gig with a bunch of right wingers who heard him slamming mitt romney on NPR on the way to the show. “YOu can’t handle the tooth.” – Jimmy

35 – Jimmy’s favorite novelty song: Purple People Eater. Jimmy not a fan of novelty songs. Novelty item riffs! Andy does a years ago character. I am indeed wearing a flesh colored faded X-Men T-Shirt. Jimmy loves a kid with a joy buzzer who gets such a kick out of it. Jimmy and Andy are not a fan of whoopie cushions, fart machines, or bathroom humor.

40 – Back to Andy’s cards! The joke that never works. Andy’s an optimist who likes to see the audience as half full. Andy not a fan of Craig Ferguson but came around on Kilborne.

45 – Andy loves a rainy night. Hootie not for Andy. Jimmy says to be mad at someone else not Craig Ferguson. Jimmy points out Letterman chose Craig F. Andy says “I Like Him.

Don’t forget Season 12 is coming! Get your finances in order and get your Audio/Video subscription for $24.99 at pardcast.com!

-Garon/The Beast/The Thief/The Beastmaster?

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