14S – Selling It with Karen Kilgariff

Karen Kilgariff

Karen Kilgariff

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In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF Players Club 14S – Karen Kilgariff
Live at the Bootleg

14S for Sequoia.

00 – I blanked. Welcome to the players club! The door is open!

Apple stock is at 92.29 right now. Jimmy bought “a couple hand fulls.” He bought Livenation back in the day at $1.50 now its at over $20.

The doors are open for 14 Sasafras! We’re all wrong.

Matt had soccer. Eliot had

Jimmy is on @Midnight tonight with Ally Wong and Ian Edwards. Lots of fun.

Jimmy says Chris Hardwick is made for @midnight and does such a great job at it.

05 – Apple down $1.57. Jimmy wants his guy on the phone: Gordon Gecko. Don’t buy a dyson vacuum apparently.Or the dyson blade. http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/gadgets/home/dyson-bladeless-fan.htm

Eliot calls them Fun but expensive.

Hacksaw might be stopping by!

10 – Jimmy addresses his gun loon twitter controversy. A lot of dumb.

We might get a theme song for dumb comments/emails.

Eliot’s S word: Sprettzatura but he changed it to Spatoon.
My S word: Sequioa

Here are 6 awesome things Bill Murray’s done. http://mentalfloss.com/article/54223/6-awesome-things-bill-murray-has-done

15 – Jimmy tells the story about going into mexico going through what turns out to be the most dangerous way to get into mexico. El Paso – Juarez. Where that show The Bridge takes place. Top 5 scariest times for Jimmy. #1 was when he was raped by the ghost.

Our guest is here! Karen Kilgariff!

Jimmy talks about a ghost guide Tristan at the Ghost tour at the Queen Mary. He had a lot of alt comedy knowledge and Jimmy kept wondering if he knew who he was.

20 – Matt and Jimmy overspent on nevernotfunny.com

Jimmy calls his phone Wham! And not Kermit as Matt wondered.

Jesse Thorne texts Jimmy saying he got an EELS ticket but he couldn’t go. He said he forward the publicist Jimmy’s email. He decides to go down to the show, had issues with parking, he got there around 10:30. He gets his free ticket and heads to the balcony.

Jimmy is on board with EELS now.

STEVE PERRY was there and came on stage.

Jimmy wept. He says Steve was fantastic. Gave him chills and tears. He did Lights and Jimmy was sobbing.

Jimmy did record some with his phone despite not wanting to be that guy. Continue reading

1419 – Turning back time with Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham


Jessica and Lennon

Jessica and Lennon

Listen to this episode for free, right here!

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 1419 – Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham



00 – Hello indeed! 1419 HARDCASTLE! Matt wonders when the Hardcastle started. Iimmy attacked by the mic!! Funny bone!

1419 guys!

Jimmy and I going to Cher? Maybe?

July 7 @ Staples! WITH Cyndi Lauper!


Matt’s got some waves in his hair! Jimmy wonders if anyone got tired surfing on that hair.

05 – Jimmy discusses Matt’s resemblance to Benedict Cumberbatch.

Jimmy agonizing over an actor he can’t remember in a movie he can’t remember.

Turns out it was the already mentioned Colin Firth and the movie was A Single Man


Jimmy might be having an allergic reaction to the aftershave he used.

10 – Jimmy’s allergic to steak and pork, yet still eats it. Went off it for 30 days and did feel better. Matt wonders if the cow’s allergies are transferring to Jimmy. Jimmy’s been going to histamine meats.

Jimmy did the anti-histamine march.

Jimmy has an inhaler and Oliver has hives lately. His last week of school is this week.

15 – We discuss summer vacations when we were young and when we got out of school and went back to school.

Jimmy tells the story about wanting to fight the guy his girlfriend was cheating on him with. He busted out his switchblade comb, “Let’s do this Joe!” Someone yelled, “ooooh he has a comb!”

Eliot’s anti autoplay. Jimmy is the same way.

What’s Eliot’s Beef today? Ads before Movie Trailers.

20 – Matt doesn’t understand movie trailers as entertainment.

Matt thinks I posted the craziest facebook post ever: I need to watch more Richard Dreyfuss movies.

Jimmy agrees with me not Matt.

Jimmy comes out as not loving everything Bill Murray does.

Bill Murray played FDR in Hyde Park in the Hudson – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1477855/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_10

Matt just does not like Richard Dreyfuss. Continue reading

14R – Rallying with Fred Stoller


Fred Stoller, seeking thrills

Fred Stoller, seeking thrills

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In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF Players Club 14R – Fred Stoller
Maybe We’ll Have You Back

14 R as in Renegade!

00 – Players Club! The doors open! Jimmy a little late due to a slow race with a cop who wouldn’t get away from him. He was in the carpool lane next to Johnny Law.

Jimmy kept saying Get off my ass fuzz! To make himself laugh.

14 Riot! No winner!

Bob’s book arrived. Good man Bob Saget! We’ll give that book away after Jimmy reads it.



Some headphone adjusting for Jimmy.

Matt had Rancho. I had Renegade. Eliot had Riboflavin.

Jimmy and Matt prefer midi ring tones to real audio tones.

Mike Sakellarides tweeted Jimmy.

Fred Stoller is here!

My phone rang!

05 – I ran to get Jimmy’s phone.

10 – Jimmy went to the Barry Gibb show at the Bowl. Jimmy thinks Robin skyped in from Heaven. Opening song was Jive Talking. Jimmy said the show was GREAT.



15 – We go through the entire Barry Gibb setlist. Continue reading

1418 – Winging it with Bob Saget


Filthy comedian Bob Saget

Filthy comedian Bob Saget


In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 1418 – Bob Saget
Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian

00 – Hello! Welcome to the Original Never Not Funny! Jimmy doesn’t know what that means. Lots of controversy in the world.

We can all agree that Jimmy is too old to have a zit that big on his lip AND he bit the inside of his lip. Matt asks if he was hungry. Jimmy goes on record not liking that joke.

He has no sense of humor when it comes to a lip bite.

He bit it in Bloomington and then again yesterday at the airport.

Travel day yesterday. Jimmy’s a bit tired today.

10/10 for the Limestone Comedy Festival!

Jimmy did some karaoke. Matt has video!

05 – Comic-oke. Karoake with the comics for the VIP guests. The VIP guests could sign up and sing with the comics.

Jimmy chose Next Time I Fall by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant.

Jennifer Warnes – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Warnes#Singles

Both I’ve Had The Time of My Life and Up Where We Belong went to #1.

10 – Emo Philips is full of great laughs.

Jimmy appreciates fans.

A fan spotted Jimmy at the airport in Dallas!

Celebrity sighting on Jimmy’s plane! Flight to Indianapolis.

Matt missed one of Jimmy’s shows. Emo Phillips saw both shows. He waited in line for the meet and greet after the show to be respectful.

Emo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_Phillips

Ask Jeeves turned into Ask.com.

Trivago has the inappropriately familiar sexily dressed spokesman.

15 – Jimmy and Matt are doing important research on their iphones as to whether the speech to text works on airplane mode.

20 – Direct to Indy.

Bob Saget is here!

The Sure Thing girl is Nicollette Sheridan, he traveled with Daphne Zuniga.

Lots of memories for Bob in this area. Continue reading

14Q – Pop Quiz with Gary Lucy


Gary Lucy, feared by Styrofoam across the nation

Gary Lucy, feared by Styrofoam across the nation


NNF 14Q – Gary Lucy


Garon’s Q Guess: Queer.

00 – YES INDEED! The door is open to the players club! Come on in for a hot tub or a canasta or a baccarat

Canasta – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canasta

Eliot is already talking, sans mic.

Jimmy apologizes to Eliot about the drummer issue.

Matt explains the Kickstarter comment on the pardcast boards. We get into it!

Fuck the people that don’t get it! Relax baby!

05 – Soulard, St. Louis – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulard,_St._Louis

Matt also watched The Woman Who Wasn’t There. It has a weird ending.

Jimmy did a little research on it too “she would not talk to that guy.”

Jimmy talks about how people turn 9/11 (or other things) about them. Like how he was on one of the first planes to leave.

Jimmy’s arm raised and red from his allergy shot.

Jimmy says if you are getting on an elevator on floor 6 to go to floor 7 you can go fuck yourself. “Take the goddamn stairs you fucking sloth.”

10 – Matt is mad at people who take up elevator space when they can use the escalator. Let them have stroller space!

Jimmy calls them Lifts. He tells the story about having worn lifts in the past and his father in law calling him out on it.

110 floors in the WTC.

14 Quizno. Eliot has Quincy. I had Queer. Matt Quaterflash.

15 – Big NNF music news. Steve Perry returns to the stage performing with The Eels in Minneapolis. http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music-arts/journey-frontman-steve-perry-returns-stage-article-1.1807334
Jennifer Nettles came on Conan and gave the best performance they’ve had on the show and purged Jimmy of Alan Parsons Project. She got knocked out by Steve Perry’s return.

Eliot is always on the edge of foot and tooth.

Eels – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eels_(band)

Jimmy talks about the video.

Jimmy overthinks it: Steve friends with eels, we’ll do motherfucker and maybe if I feel like it we’ll do a couple journeys.

Gary Lucy has shown up with a giant piece of Styrofoam. Continue reading

1417 – Scout’s Honor with Jesse Thorn


The Leninesque Jesse Thorn

The Leninesque Jesse Thorn


In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 1417 – Jesse Thorn

00 – Hello! True to form Jimmy’s already lost Mad Dog. Some of the fans love mad dog, some don’t care for him at all. He found him again! Mad Dog turns it over to Jimmy.

So long Mad Dog! He might show up again. Love/hate. 60/40 hate ratio. Jimmy has a good stretch!

Nationals Announcer vs Mad Dog http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/wp/2014/05/20/nats-announcer-charlie-slowes-says-siriusxm-host-chris-mad-dog-russo-is-unlistenable/

Play by Play is hard!

Jimmy does a little Jimmy Dore impression. Oliver is here! Doesn’t wanna be on camera. Jimmy can’t guarantee Harry Potter, Legos, DC, or Marvel will come up.

Oliver shoots finger guns! He is also covered in some kind of food stuff.

Oliver is here so we’ll keep our language in check. Make no mistake though he will fire someone if need be.

05 – Eliot was late, we were concerned. Matt asks what Eliot’s sleep number is. Eliot explains his tardiness. He didn’t answer his phone for safety reasons.

Jimmy had a message yesterday. Matt asks if it was “deep tish.” Jimmy says no but he could have used a bit more force on it.

Jimmy was in rehab to get off the Monster drink. Oliver says he heard all about it. Oliver calls out Jimmy on his monster drink usage.

Jimmy walks through the monster thought process. 2/$3. New blue and red. Jimmy cannot even have the small monster drinks. He went home with a headache, unable to sleep, and vomited it all up. Jimmy officially apologizes for any aggressive behavior except towards Matt’s tone with everyone else.

10 – Jimmy insists that Matt was very mean to Eliot. You’d know the back story on this if you were in the Players Club! Join up at NeverNotFunny.com!

Jimmy’s gonna have to treat monster like alcohol. No more! Monster to Red Bull – Fly away queer!

Jimmy and Oliver went camping over the weekend! It was a nice time. They slept in a tent. Jimmy doesn’t know how anyone sleeps without a sleep pad while camping.

Forest Floor staring Tom Hanks! Too much running. PG Never Not Funny, guys.

15 – The camping trip was a boy scout outing. They watched Robin Hood and had cookies Friday night. Buy a higher grade cookie scouts!

Oliver ices Jimmy out to check out a graveyard.

Jimmy watched Confessions of a Super Hero. It’s a good documentary. Superman and Batman are both nuts. Wonder Woman went on to do some acting. She was a sweet girl in the movie but Jimmy suspects she would end up in porn. It doesn’t look like that has happened (yet). Continue reading

14P – Shaking Your Booty with Myq Kaplan


Myq Kaplan and Jimmy Pardo's beautiful hair.

Myq Kaplan and Jimmy Pardo’s beautiful hair.

To listen to this episode, join the Players Club, baby!

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 14 P – Myq Kaplan


Garon Guess: P as in Penguin

00 – Welcome! The door is open to the PLAYERS CLUB! Jimmy has an accurate pole. Jimmy thinks Matt is sniping.

05 – Hallelujah The Hills are in the midst of their west coast tour. At The Mint tonight. http://www.hallelujahthehills.com/

Soundtrack that Tamara Champlin is on: Caddyshack 2 and Illegally Yours.

Jimmy’s band was briefly called The Jim Pardo Project.

Tamara Champlin Heart of Glass from Caddyshack 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onK6XtMNS_M

Planet P Project: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT-K5hQl834

10 – Matt explains his balls in your mouth quip.

Matt’s Brother in Law was a tennis ball boy. He saw a Michael Chang match. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Chang

15 – We lost Jerry Vale. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Vale

Jimmy’s got a monster!! New Flavor

Illegally Yours – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095357/?ref_=nm_knf_t2

20 – Jimmy puts Caddyshack in Top Five comedies of all time. Continue reading

1416 – Blowing it Up with Tig Notaro


Tig Notaro

Tig Notaro

Listen to this episode for free!

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 1416 – Tig Notaro


00 – Hello! Yes! Indeed! 1814 we took a little trip. Jimmy would make fun of my purple shirt if he wasn’t wearing his orange one. Jimmy wonders if Matt’s on leave. He has a new short haircut! Jimmy says it looks more like 8-mile juvie.

Jimmy’s way or the highway. He got stuck between van nuys and woodman. Police activity!

We check in with Rich Sommer on Flight 370!


He’s one hand driving to take our call. Jimmy needs him to confirm the flight number. He is confirming the time the flights been missing but not the flight number.

05 – Jimmy calls Rich’s mom Dame Sommer and calls the two of them both on speaker as a disaster not unlike the missing plane.

Jimmy struggling with his allergies last night. Big time winds.

That fluttery part of the awning is called a valance.

10 – Retractable awnings are apparently for hillbillies. Jimmy wishes he was a hillbilly this time so he could get one. He was convinced into getting a beige awning instead of the darker brown he wanted. It gets dirty easily.

Some house near Oliver’s school got toilet papered. Plastic from a nearby construction site ended up in Jimmy’s trees. Oliver thinks they got “plasticed.” That plastic will be in the tree forever.

Matt wonders if Eliot is always on mic making noises. Like hmms and stuff.

Don’t use jokes Jimmy would enjoy when he’s mad at you Eliot!

15 – Apparently the plexiglass drummer this is: It’s to stop the sound from the drums getting to the other microphones on stage, and the sound of other instruments on stage from getting into the drum microphones. This makes for better overall sound, and is much better especially if they are recording the performance. Without the plexiglass you end up with bleeding between tracks, which affects the total sound quality when you try to mix all of the instruments together on the mixing board.


Eliot’s band was called Toasted Head. Green Day Led Zepp type stuff.
Jimmy doesn’t understand why he was never kicked out of his band. His friends must have been great guys.

If you found out if your surgeon was in a Ska band would you continue to see him?

20 – Jimmy and Matt discuss doctors in bands and tattoos. They discuss the mysterious absence of their doctor who has since returned.

Jimmy went to a new dentist in a high tech office. He cut him loose already. No good. Great office just not a fan of it.

Tig Notaro is here! Continue reading

14O – Coming in for a Landing with Rich Sommer


Rich Sommer, reporting live.

Rich Sommer, reporting live.

To listen to this episode, join the Players Club.

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF Players Club 14O – Rich Sommer

14 O for OZZY

00 – Welcome in! The door will shut as it is members only! 14 Orangutan. No one guessed correctly. Planet of the Apes related. Matt is apparently dressed like an assassin or a serial killer.

Jimmy’s got a little change in his pocket.

Matt mentions the NNF Spotify Play list courtesy of Oddvar Roste!

Eliot is talking too much. Jimmy talks about having to hide and avoid a former neighbor who fancied himself a comedy writer. Now he is apparently between 88 and dead.

Jimmy paid $525 for that apartment.

05 – Matt’s O was operator. Eliot’s was Ozzy as was mine.

Hello Mad Dog! He is a very polarizing character. Jimmy agrees with the haters.

So long Mad Dog! Oh wait, he’s back.

10 – Darryl Strawberry – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daryl_strawberry apparently he was great!

Jimmy talks about someone talking about Spandau Ballet performing True and the crowd going crazy. No Shit!

15 – We got some mail from Ryan Walsh. Jimmy may have given himself a paper cut.

Jimmy loves a great PS.

Our guest better have airplane info!

Jimmy goes through the band line up of Ryan’s band Hallelujah the Hills.

20 – Jack Wagner has a new album out! Check it out at jackwagner.com

Matt snuck an almond while jimmy talks about a Fallon joke. Continue reading

1415 – Measuring Up with Dave Attell


Jimmy Pardo helps Dave Attell look for his glasses.

Jimmy Pardo helps Dave Attell look for his glasses.

Listen to this episode for free!

In-studio notes by Garon Cockrell

NNF 1415 – Dave Attell



00 – Welcome to 1415! I’m wishwashy apparently but now named The Note Keeper!

It looks like the character Jimmy was looking for is the Keeper of the Sacred Scrolls.

05 – Mad Dog Russo vs Alf. http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/blog/2008/04/page/4/

Jimmy does his Mad Dog impression. Jimmy rattles off the history of Planet of the Apes franchise as Mad Dog. Heston is as angry as he should be.

10 – Jimmy as Mad Dog tries to guess the actor Matt was thinking of, who is not a Carradine.

The actor Jimmy was thinking of was Wentworth Miller. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0589505/?ref_=tt_cl_t2

Peter Green is indeed the original guitarist of Fleetwood Mac. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleetwood_Mac

15 – Matt tells Mad Dog some cars can stream podcasts.

Jimmy’s back! So long Mad Dog.

Jimmy asks Eliot for a 405 update. No help. https://www.facebook.com/405project

Jimmy’s handyman, Ernie, loves The Cars. Seeing him you would never think that.

20 – Ernie saw The Cars for the first time after 30 years and he was furious! Said the show was terrible.

Jimmy yells at his phone.

Jimmy’s loving Ellis Paul’s new record Chasing Beauty. He finally got permission to share it with Matt.

Matt teaches Jimmy how to copy links from messages. He also confirms he uses the safari reading list. Continue reading