708 – Janet Varney

Released 7/7/2010

Pardcast.com message board for this episode

Intro: 708 area code is the Chicago area code that incubated Jimmy’s comedy

1:30 Nothing at all rhymes with July!

1:40 Here’s why Jimmy doesn’t include knock-knock jokes in his act

2:05 Janet has an opinion about what is happening out of side

2:45 The Book of Eli, and Jimmy’s responsibilities

3:30 Baseball talk is refreshing and quaint

4:00 World Cup vs. baseball

4:30 Dan Katz is an attractive man

5:00 Janet had a very special specialist

6:50 Single Ladies (Beyonce)

7:45 Matt does the Zoe dance

9:00 Eliot is dressed to work in a club

10:00 Janet has an overwhelming ability to “yes-and” and have fun

10:30 Entourage on a flyer’s laptop

11:00 Janet has a job that might require nudity

12:00 Reprise of Single Ladies, yet not worthy of an icon

12:45 Matt has issues with the Entourage billboard

13:50 Results of Amanda’s Jimmy Pardo quiz on Facebook (yes, it’s still available)

15:30 Bryan Adams and The Summer of 69

16:10 The Guy Choice awards on Spike and the associated swearing

18:00 Should Jimmy disqualify a contestant just because his name sounds like he is scientist?

18:50 Deconstructing Summer of ’69

19:50 Another skirmish in the great Belknap / Hochberg war

20:30 Getting into the details of the Jimmy Pardo quiz

22:20 Jimmy would have failed the quiz his own self

23:45 Judy Matthews is the grand prize winner, with a perfect score on the first try.

25:30 Alton, Illinois with Bob Zaney in a banquet room

26:15 Thanks to Amy for the Bad Ronald DVD

27:15 Jimmy is pretty accessible, and likes to be in the loop

27:55 “BRITISH!”

28:15 Behind the scenes with The Geico Gecko

29:15 Jimmy’s Monster addiction may not be an addiciton

30:00 Solving the mystery of Jimmy’s piss-whiff home bathroom

34:45 Cajun Jimmy, and critiquing the Cajun Jimmy graphic

37:30 Segue of the day: “Speaking of Cajuns”

38:20 Dammit! So close to being able to use an Obvious Trivia icon!

39:00 Who has the second best gumbo?

40:00 How the Monte Cristo sandwich was invented, and incredibly detailed information about said sandwich

44:30 The secret of Thousand Island dressing

46:00 Matt said the two most disgusting things ever on this episode

46:30 Let’s compare Dan Katz to his siblings

47:15 Guess your weight!

48:00 Working at the carnival

50:15 Janet’s amazing ability to guess initials

51:00 Matt is passing out from hunger

52:00 More initial guessing game

53:30 BREAK TIME!

54:15 Matt has his blood sugar back up, and is ready to go!

54:45 Janet gives a shoutout to her friend Mia Kulpa

55:00 From dining room to Johnny King Kong

55:15 I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight (Cutting Crew)

57:30 Deconstructing the obvious lyrics of Summer of ’69

58:30 Jimmy has invisible hand-puppets

1:00:30 Matt’s third gross reference

1:00:45 Matt’s fourth gross reference

1:01:15 Danny Kaye vs. Danny Thomas

1:01:30 Danny Thomas and his special egg recipe

1:02:45 Okra, Oprah. No Uma.

1:04:30 Janet suddenly thinks she’s on Donahue

1:05:00 Jimmy’s lesbian slang faux-pas

1:06:20 Matt has a theory about genetic homosexuality, but not even he knows what it is

1:06:45 Matt is not afraid to get real about gay genetics. Or something.

1:08:00 Actors from The Band

1:08:30 All things Carny

1:09:20 Janet is the walking encyclopedia of carny movies

1:10:15 Janet might run the corn cobbing machine at the carnival

1:11:30 Robbie Robertson is multi-talented

1:12:30 Jimmy loves Justified, after 2 episodes

1:13:45 Deadwood is Oscar-worthy, despite not being a movie show film presentation

1:14:00 Elise loves True Blood

1:15:00 Werewolves have nicknames

1:18:00 Jimmy had pre-conceived ideas about the potential success of Kristen Stewart

1:18:30 Don’t mock Miami Vice before you watch it

1:20:30 Another killer Matt segue to a 2 year old tee-shirt hemming story

1:21:50 Run to the Hills (Iron Maiden)

1:22:30 Jimmy tops Matt’s sucky segues

1:23:19 Oliverism of the Day

1:23:50 Zoeism of the Day

1:24:45 Kids say the darnedest things, some of which may result in an arrest

1:26:00 Jimmy is laying the groundwork for Oliver’s name-calling career

1:26:45 Jimmy’s solution for too much baby-talk

1:27:00 Jimmy makes up an Oliver story

1:27:20 Matt’s bits prove they need castanets

1:28:30 Jimmy LOVES singing along with Grease with a theater full of people

1:29:50 Jimmy is excited to see Joan Rivers live for only $35

1:30:45 Sarah Silverman book winner: Sammy Shaw in Pakinstan, who faces Jimmy’s inappropriate wrath

1:33:20 Jimmy forgets the rules of the contest

1:33:45 Jimmy “Don’t call me Pardo” Pardo requests that you call him Jimmy, not Pardo

1:35:00 Jimmy doesn’t need to know when people talk shit about him, even if you defended him

1:35:30 Mahna Mahna (The Muppets)

1:35:45 Janet proves she is the Queen of the Unexpected Callback

1:36:30 Janet’s love of Gold Medal Ribbon ice cream

1:37:30 Matt will not give Zoe credit for his own genius

1:38:00 Jimmy’s curiosity about “QVC for sex toys”

1:39:30 [DESCRIPTION OF DEVICE EDITED FOR THE SENSITIVE READER. BUT YOU CAN SUBSCRIBE HERE.]

1:40:30 Janet is a choy

1:41:30 Dan finds a picture of the aforementioned device in action

Ooonnn the podcast

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

9 thoughts on “708 – Janet Varney

  1. Pingback: Janet Varney, Queen of the Unexpected Callback! « NeverNotNotes.com

  2. I agree Janet is a total choy, and she owes me a coke because we both came to the conclusion that werewolves should be reffered to as: Double W’s at the same time. Therefore we were meant to be together.
    I wasnt on board at first with Eliot’s new” eye in the sky” cam, but I stand corrected.
    Man, that was great when Asher told Michael that he was mispronouncing the P vitamins. Classic Asher.

  3. Really enjoy the ‘Notes! I feel weird asking, but is the adorable gentleman in the Oliverism icon the real deal (I know Jimmy is understandably protective about pics of him), or is it just some other kid whose Grandmother made him dress as the Cowardly Lion?

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