718 – Jackie Kashian

Released 9/15/2010

Pardcast.com message board for this episode

Intro: According to Matt, 718 is the area code for BROOOOKLYYYYYN!!!!!!!!!!!!! which pisses Jimmy off right away

1:20 Matt is not Eliot or Dan, and should know better, but he did it for Biggie

1:40 After some pronunciation gymnastics by Jimmy, they decide that Biggie Smalls hunted Moby Dick

2:00 Thanks to Kevin Pollak for a bunch of new listeners

2:20 Pollak is the first person to acknowledge that Jimmy opened the door for comedy podcasts. Well, after Gervais.

3:00 “Someone in 1974 was running from Eliot and a boring story.”

3:20 Some other shows may have messed up the equipment when they used it

3:34 Jackie is warned to keep it shut until introduced

4:00 Dan is wearing a Palmercash shirt

4:30 Despite not being introduced, Jackie tells us her favorite beverage

5:00 9/11 was last weekend, and we didn’t forget

5:20 Brooklyn’s Finest, not a bad show

5:45 Oliver and Danielle took off to Tulsa; Oliver may be headlining

6:20 “Dad, are we going to Target? Good joke huh Dad?”

6:45 “Humoring” vs. “encouraging”

7:00 Listeners get upset about the mundane on the show, but no one seems to care that they mock 9/11

8:00 Rickrolled (sort of) by Jackie Kashian!

8:10 What’s playing on KJIM?

8:30 Note: Jimmy did NOT coin the phrase “Never Forget”

9:00 ON 9/11/2001, Jackie performed because the scheduled performer didn’t show

10:00 Comedy was dead on 9/12

10:10 The Onion’s headline about the death of irony

10:30 Matt thinks Jackie meant Vanity Fair

11:00 Ramping up Jackie Kashian

12:00 Jackie is obviously not a listener

12:30 Jackie is right on top of current events and the Dr. Laura controversy

13:15 Jimmy is a fan of Jackie and her “circus people” joke

13:45 Jackie looks like Jodie Foster or Dennis Franz

14:20 It’s a shame that Jackie is not gay

14:40 Jackie’s type-casting: airport cop

15:00 Don Rickles was on an episode of Murphy Brown as a secretary

15:30 All about Murphy Brown

16:00 Jimmy’s Monday night TV viewing

16:45 Two and Half Men: give it a few episodes and you’ll be in. If you can make it through that much.

17:20 Jimmy has the best stage presence of anyone in comedy

18:00 Tom Arnold vs. Jim Belushi

18:15 Memphis Beat’s big headed actor

19:00 You can’t lie about your age these days

20:10 Jackie reveals her Kirstie Alley obsession

20:45 Didn’t Snoop Dogg used to be a woman-beating pimp?

21:30 Google has taken the place of parental knowledge

22:15 Jackie called her dad about the levels of horse lameness

22:45 Jackie’s dad busts her for her dumb question

23:00 Jackie’s brother wants to know what actors do for money once they’ve given up: dog walkers, personal assistants, yoga instructors, life coaches

25:45 Jackie’s animated joke on JackieKashian.com, by the same guy who did Kyle Kinane’s animated joke

28:00 Jimmy’s Off-Nights comedy club idea

28:15 Jackie’s restaurant idea, inspired by the Piece of Chicken restaurant

29:30 Matt wants to spitball restaurant ideas with Jackie

30:30 Matt can’t remember the paleos

31:30 Cajun Jimmy loves the Swamp People TV show

32:00 The best cajun-based films: Southern Comfort or The Big Easy

32:30 Dan still hasn’t found the Onion article (linked above)

32:45 Dan knows more without the computer than with

33:15 Dan found two Onion articles, neither of them the correct one (linked above)

34:30 Jackie’s “guy” and Fargo impressions

35:00 Jimmy thought an iron range was golf-related

35:20 Jackie’s performing at the Funny Farm in Georgia

36:00 Jackie likes to keep her fanbase small

37:00 There are a couple guests in the studio, and we must see their Clay Aiken shirts

38:00 Tee shirt feeling time

38:45 Threadless, Woot, and other tee-shirt websites

39:30 Jackie’s coffee shop: Thirsty Beaucoup

40:30 Don’t drink coffee in the desert

40:45 Studio guests Shane and Lucas are named after movies

41:30 Looking forward to Kerry Green’s new show

41:30 The new Hawaii 5-0

42:20 Jimmy impersonates a guy on his airplane yesterday, whom he loves and hates

43:25 “A little banged up, friend. Sorry for the lounging, my spine can’t support my problems today.”

45:40 The Asian lady on Matt’s plane talked long time

47:00 Can’t we go without being connected for a little while?

47:45 Jackie’s driving multitasking

48:00 Jackie’s worst cell phone game: Diner Dash

49:00 Turning off electronic devices on the plane

50:30 Jimmy’s experience with a gaseous military seatmate

52:20 Matt’s “big time” celebrity siting, which Jimmy already saw on Matt’s Facebook

53:20 Oliver loves fountains, and has a fountain collection

54:45 “There’s nothing better than a child’s laugh!”

55:00 Matt did the Great Facebook Purge

55:20 Matt wants to use Facebook the way it was intended by deleting 800 people

56:15 Don’t take offense if you were cut! Join the fan pages.

56:30 Jimmy’s Great Facebook Purge is coming!

57:00 Jackie wants to play reverse celebrity sighting with Morgan Fairchild

57:20 Morgan Fairchild played herself in a Pee-Wee Herman movie

57:25 “Ohhh shit!”

58:00 BREAK TIME

59:00 Jackie is the host of Dork Forest

59:20 Joe Wilson and AST Radio

59:40 Tourette’s-like outbursts from Eliot

1:00:00 Vampire Mob web series

1:00:50 What does Dan do?

1:01:15 Matt remembers Peter Gabriel’s song Big Log

1:01:50 Jimmy hates Peter Gabriel’s videos

1:02:15 Travel Tips from Jimmy: stick with one airline

1:03:10 Jackie’s flight to Kuwait gave her 18,000 frequent flier miles

1:03:45 Jackie’s father’s military experience

1:04:40 Jackie just did a bit, that wasn’t really a bit

1:05:20 Jackie’s Iraq experience

1:06:30 Jackie was at Jimmy’s wedding

1:06:45 How does Jackie’s act play to the troops?

1:08:30 Dealing with a heckler at an Indian casino in Michigan

1:12:30 Back to Matt’s celebrity sighting

1:15:00 Jackie breaks out some French

1:15;40 Ways to get Dan and Eliot to shut up

1:16:00 More details about Matt’s celebrity sighting

1:17:45 OMG!!!! It was JOHNNY HALLYDAY!!!!!!!

1:18:50 We’re all famous among our friends!

1:19:20 Reality stars are not real stars

1:20:00 “I saw James Cromwell eatin’ a salad. How ’bout that!”

1:20:15 People were bringing their own food into Hugo’s in Hollywood for them to cook

1:22:30 Here begins the Jimmy Echoes Matt routine

1:24:20 Listen and repeat. In French.

1:24:50 The pretentiousness of Asia

1:25:00 “Every man’s got a horn, man.”

1:26:00 Dan may need to take a Googling class

1:26:30 Matt may want to look into the tax and legality issues surrounding what gets paid for out of the show budget

1:27:30 There is a winner in the TV Hat contest: Congrats Rob Tafoya (who was the only entry)

1:29:30 Jimmy is angry over an email about his CD (which is $5 at Amazon)

1:30:15 Jimmy does not need suggestions for guests

1:31:30 Jackie’s latest CD: It’s Never Going to be Bread

1:32:00 Redd Foxx – why was he famous?

1:32:45 Jackie is working with Shelly Berman soon

1:33:15 Jackie’s VampireMob shout-out loses her on plug in the break

Ooonnnnn the podcast!

AK-47 gone, not forgotten

6 thoughts on “718 – Jackie Kashian

  1. Pingback: Jackie Kashian: Airport Cop, Kirstie Alley Enthusiast « NeverNotNotes.com

  2. The TV Hat commercial makes me want to buy one! Very cute and compelling!
    But does that kid really watch NNF? If so, then I feel even COOLER than ever before.

  3. I’m trying to use Never Not Notes to figure out when it was that Matt was talking about Ice-T’s film debut as “rap talker.” I didn’t have luck so far with ‘Edit > Find’ and then I got lazy. Any insight?

    • Hey CTTS,

      Perhaps that episode hasn’t been added to the site yet (most likely), or the term “rap talker” wasn’t used in the notes. I do try to use unique terms like that so they can be found, but of course short of transcribing the entire episode, there’s no way to catch everything that might be searched for.

      Coincidentally, I just listened to that episode again in the last couple weeks, and I’m pretty sure the movie was Breakin’. If I can track down which episode it was, I’ll let you know!

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